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Hurricanes and Hangovers and Other Tall Tales and Loose Lies from the Coconut Telegraph by Dear Miss Mermaid

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.  As
we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert.  If you don't use
it, you lose it!  Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-
loss of intelligence.

OK relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "bread."  If you said "toast," give up now and do something
else.  Try not to hurt yourself.  If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times.  Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water.  If you said "milk," don't attempt the next
question.  Your brain is over-str essed and may even overheat.  Content
yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto
World.  However, if you said "water," proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made
from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black
house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.  If you said "green bricks,"
why are you still reading these?

If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
Germany (If you will recall,Germany at the time was politically divided
into West Germany and East Germany.)  Anyway, during the flight, two
engines fail.  The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is
also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure.  Unfortunately the
engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in
the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany.
Where would you bury the survivors?  East Germany, West Germany, or no
man's land?"

Answer: You don't bury survivors.  If you said ANYTHING else, you're a
dunce and you must stop.  If you said, "You don't bury survivors,"proceed to
the next question.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales.  In London, 17 people get on the bus; In
Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.  In
Swindon, two people get off and four get on.  In Cardiff, 11 people get
off and 16 people get on.  In Swansea, three people get off and five
people get on.  In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on.  You
then arrive at Milford Haven.& ;nbs p; What was the name of the bus

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you remember your own name?  It was YOU!! You were driving the
bus.....  hell-OOOO!

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