with his sister, left
his mother, right
and his father, far right
|My beautiful, shining son
My beautiful, shining son
Where have you gone?
Where have you gone?
When will I see you again?
The world saw you as my son.
But in reality, in all the ways that truly matter,
I was the child and you were the father.
You understood so very well,
The real purpose of human existence.
Meditation, humility, devotion, a great loving heart
Even as a small child, all this was there.
You worked daily to develop spiritually.
You gave everything to the Master's mission,
To realizing God.
You were always a warrior
Totally without fear
Always ready to give your all for God
Your fearlessness was equaled only by your compassion.
Never, during your 21 years, did you cause harm to another living being.
Every animal, wild or tame, loved and trusted you.
Puppies and kittens, rattlesnakes and scorpions
Were all equally at peace in your strong, loving hands.
You did not cry when, as a child, a venomous spider accidentally bit you.
It was not until the spider was killed for medical identification that I saw you weep tears of pain.
All of nature was a familiar friend to you.
The stars and planets above, the wild plants and animals below, the dynamic energies all around
You knew them, understood them and loved them all.
You loved people too, and it hurt you to see the state they were in.
You were always ready to give to others.
Your giving was always subtle, never flashy.
You did not go in for overt displays of affection.
Hugging, kissing and squeezing were not your style.
But your love was always there
Clear and strong and pure
This is what you were
This is what you are
I thank you for sharing this time with me.
Now there is a void.
A giant void
And try, as I will
I cannot see beyond it.
Fortunately you have blazed a trail.
Your life was an impeccable example
Of what to do and how to do it.
How to live in this valley of sorrows
With grace, dignity and ever buoyant spirit.
How to pierce the veils of Maya
How to be ready, at any moment, to leave the worldly existence
You were always ready.
When your time here was over, you were at peace.
You were ready for the change.
I know because I saw the ultimate serenity on your handsome face,
A record of your last moment preserved on the abandoned shell of your body.
I know you are with God.
I know you are enjoying.
But I also know this:
Adam is gone.
I miss you.
I miss you.
O my son.
My shining, shining one...
|Adam was an
extraordinary person, for whom we all had much respect. I'm so
happy that I got to spend 21 years with this remarkable soul.
What a wonderful time it has been. He gave me so much strength
and help, not only in our daily work, but in my spiritual work as
well. He had such a deep understanding of spirituality that I
frequently asked for his advice and comments when life presented
mysteries and puzzles to me. He was only a young man, but he was
wise far beyond his years. He was fun to be with, a great friend
and companion, a loving son, and a super co-worker. I could
always depend upon him, no matter what. What a blessing this
whole lifetime with him has been...
A few days before Adam died, I had a glimpse into the humility of this unique young man. We were in a large meeting about technical computer topics, and the room was filled with distinguished guests and technical experts. At the time, Adam was working as a graphic designer and computer programmer. A clipboard was passed around for people to write their name, their function, and their email. After it went around the room, I took a look at the list of important and accomplished people. I glanced down at what Adam had written as his function. I was expecting to see "computer programmer and graphic designer" or something like that.
But instead, he had written very simply, "Adam Palmer, sevadar."
Adam Palmer, sevadar... What is a sevadar? This is an Indian word which means one who serves others out of their love and devotion for God and how has no expectation of reward or recognition. Adam could have claimed many other titles, could have written many other things that would have sounded much greater by worldly standards. But no, he simply wrote, Adam Palmer, sevadar. That's how he thought of himself, a simple servant of God.
Adam enjoyed his time with us, and now he is surely enjoying himself with God even more. He is free of all suffering, hardship, and ephemeral things. Free to enjoy all the love, bliss, and permanent greatness of God.
As a child, Adam was fascinated with the idea of flying beyond the sun, moon, and planets, and into the stars. As a young man, he came to understand that this journey he desired was a spiritual one, not a physical one. And now, he has made the Journey: He is flying in the ocean of Light and Love with God, and he is enjoying, enjoying, enjoying...
|I feel blessed that Adam came to be
with me for this time, to be there by my side as I grew up, to teach me
about life and the universe. He was the best teacher I ever had
– he was always so good and kind and understanding. I
thought it was normal for brothers to be so kind and fair to their
sisters. But I found out that, while growing up, many siblings
fight, argue, play tricks on each other, and even cheat and deceive
each other out of jealousy and competition. And I realized how
lucky I was to have such an advanced being as my brother, who always
treated me with love and respect.
He took me exploring the woods, the oceans and streams, spelunking in caves. He showed me the plants and animals and taught me all about them. They were his little friends, his brothers and sisters, and he loved them. He showed me the planets and stars and taught me all about outer space, and space shuttles, and astronauts. He showed me his inventions, told me his ideas , far beyond anything I could dream of. He was so smart! I remember he showed me his design for a holographic TV and tried to explain to me the physics of how it would work. He was only about 10 years old at the time. And I thought, how does he know all of this? They don't teach me this in school!
He understood the bigger concepts of science and nature and how the universe works, not the petty, superficial things, not the little facts. I always felt that he was a thousand light years ahead of me, but always willing to come back, take my hand, and show me the way, with a huge grin on his face and a spring in his step.
Like the time we went rappelling, and I was afraid. He came back and took great care to show me how to do it, and reassured me that it was safe, and not to worry. And I knew it was only my own fear that was hurting me. He gave me that understanding. He was so kind, so gentle, so understanding.
There was the time that we went snow skiing for the first time ever, and he got so good at it so fast. I was having some fears and some trouble, and so I watched him to see how he was doing it and then I realized what his secret was. He loved his legs, the skis, and the snow. He loved the rocks and trees , everything. And how could these things hurt him? And how could he fear them? This was the attitude he had toward everything in life , he loved life, and he loved all things. And so everything cooperated with him, and so he was able to do so very much.
He loved the river too, and so the river couldn't really hurt him. He remained in his own pure love, but maybe the river loved him too much...? I saw his body after they brought it out of the river, and I knew that he had lived life to the fullest, in the best way possible. He lived every moment with love, and never with fear. He loved life and everything in it, completely and without holding back. Even at the moment of death, he was loving the experience of passing from this life to the next. He always loved new experiences, and so I know he loved that moment also. His face looked like an angel. So sweet and pure, so shining, so peaceful.
And I suddenly learned the lesson he had never been able to teach me in life, that we have a spiritual task to complete in this lifetime. As our spiritual teacher says, Reach the destination earliest.